My Truth

Rehab is a wake up call. It is a promise and secret.
the promise to face the pain and despair and stigma
the secret that was stored away in a jar in your heart



facing the pain of withdrawal is no joke
no words on a screen can
even
come
close

you look back on the decisions that brought you here
you didn't plant seeds for them to grow into a cage
you just wanted some shade and fruit and
some protection from the wind
so you cared for them - let them grow tall and strong

you look back on the decisions that brought you here
you look back on the pain that brought you here

trading an open field for a protected grove

but its time
time to leave
time to burn this motherfucker down
time to let something new grow

so you stand up - shake off the dust - and lift your chin
you say with a clear voice that this is not what you wanted to happen
that somewhere along the way protection became isolation
that somewhere along the way your fence became a cage
and you're drowning in foliage

so you stand up - shake off the dust - and lift your chin
and you know that is not your whole truth
but the one that the world gets
there is another

the one from way back - before the seeds and the pain
wandering the open fields - naive and free
you saw the cages grow around people
you saw them care for their protective armor
you saw what it means to make yourself safe

you knew what you were doing
it doesn't mean you could have stopped it
it doesn't mean you are worth any less than any other person
it doesn't mean the things people will say about you are true
but it does mean that you are not powerless

you. are. not. powerless.

stuck, fucked, trapped, tricked, twisted, and surrounded

not. powerless.

Rehab is a wake up call. It is a promise and a secret.
the promise to stand up tall and ask for a hand
the secret is released from its container
so it can rejoin your heart
so you can begin to heal