IT’S IN MY VEINS
as my painted nails curl into my palm
head bowed in shame
with eyes of glowing thunder
the depths of my heart
splayed on the table like rotten meat
CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE?
my gut searches for a target for the rage
my heart knows nobody but me deserves it
so I sit alone, hurting nobody but myself
thankful for at least that
at least nobody is suffering by my hands
at least i can pretend so
for those who see something in me
there is no protection
only the me
overchill to compensate for the violence
anti-competitive to compensate with adrenaline
but these don’t counter the cruelty in my heart
there is no counter for cruelty of the heart
even when it manifests as self-care
